Beast Boy's Inbox
by AlohaFox
Summary: Don't send him the cliche, average questions. Be outlandish. After all, his persona is. Like Strong Bad, BB spins a pointless, moral-less yarn for each question. Rated for...well, you never know.
1. Intro

**Beast Boy's Inbox  
By AlohaFox (Chloe Fox)**

This story is dedicated to Tianimalz. [_If Beast Boy were really real, he would have spring fever all year_.]

Introduction

_I am a HORRIBLE member!!  
On the real, I am. I haven't written a story in over a year and a half. So that's why I want to come back. And, because I'm kind of over my Twilight-fanfiction phase, I think I'll try to write for Teen Titans again. (Tianimalz, aren't you happy you're not alone? Ha ha…)_

_Anyway. This, good people, is Beast Boy's official inbox. Email him with any questions you just might be dying to ask him, and he shall reply to you (most likely with a good story to tell…but not so much a good moral to follow). Yes, it's kind of like a Strong Bad email thing. So really, go crazy with your questions. The more outlandish, the better._

_So, while I wait for responses, you do your thing. Sing show tunes. Drive with the car window down. And write to BB._


	2. Costume Headlines

**Beast Boy's Inbox  
By AlohaFox (Chloe Fox)**

This story is dedicated to Tianimalz. [_Isn't it great how Beast Boy and Terra pick up our own personality traits?_]

Chapter One – "Costume Headlines"

_BB,  
Where does your Doom Patrol outfit go when you morph?  
GraceFangsandFire_

___

GraceFangsandFire,

This question has been pondered upon by many fangirls over my years in the spotlight, and I have eluded them of the answer. But since your penname kind of strikes my fancy in a weird sort of way, I guess you have the right to finally know the truth.  
But then…since this is a public inbox…I guess now EVERYONE will finally know the truth…hmm. Anyhoo.

_The beginning of my costume was totally weird. You know how werewolves kind of rip their clothes when they morph? Well…me, too. So Rita had to come up with something so that I wouldn't be running around in my birthday suit for the entire world to admire (or cringe upon). Dude, can you imagine the headlines? _

_And here they claim that the Garden of Eden is found. God knows what they'd deduce from my earthly toned form.  
Can you say "Jolly Green Giant Spawn"?_

To make it simple, Rita made a costume so that it would kind of merge into my skin while I was a dolphin or a unicorn and would reappear as its shed-able layer once I was human again. I used the same concept for when I joined the Titans. It was better because I didn't have to deal with that mask anymore (even though it was_ pretty sweet)._

It involves more science than what my brain can comprehend. But it works, and that's enough for me. So imagine what I look like all you want, because there's no chance of you seeing it. Ever. Sorry, ladies.

_Comically yours,  
BB_

___

"What kind of signoff is that?" Cyborg chuckled.

"What?" Beast Boy looked behind at him.

"'Comically yours'?" Cyborg quoted. "You're better than that."

"I'll think of something better for the next email."

"You sent it already?"

"Yep. I hope I get another one."

"That question seemed kind of cliché, didn't you think?"

"Yeah, well, it'll get better as times goes on…I hope."

"If you get more emails," Cy sniggered as he walked away.

"They love me!" Beast Boy hollered after him.__


	3. Epic Prank

**Beast Boy's Inbox  
By AlohaFox (Chloe Fox)**

_Sorry I didn't update sooner – it's the week before Spring Break, and everyone at school is packing everything possible in the last few days. But I want to write this chapter before I go off on my adventures, which tend to occur at the very last minute. I love driving now._

This story is dedicated to Tianimalz. [_No clever comment. Yet._]

Chapter Two - Epic Prank

_Hey Beast Boy!! Q! We all know you're famous for practical jokes, but I want to  
know which one took the most time/effort to do?  
bigred0991_

---

Bigred0991-

Before I get ahead of myself, let me just make this clear: no prank is ever easy. EVER. It's always a challenge and effort to make it original, because you can't let the prankee know that it's coming.  
Let me take you back to one of my favorite pranks that was also the most challenging…it was fairly recent, I think. It was one of Terra's first pranks. It was a good thing she was there; otherwise it wouldn't have turned out as good as it did if it were just me…

_"So, let me get this all straight," Terra began, "I carve this giant head out of stone and make it hover over the window?"_

"_Yep!" I replied. _

"_Over what window?" _

"_The top window."_

"_Are you for real, boy?" she raised her eyebrows in doubt._

_I nodded. "I am real as real can be."_

"_Um…how big?"_

"_Big enough to scare them," I said. _

"_Give me measurements," Terra said, getting paper and a pencil out from underneath her bed, where we were sitting._

_I shrugged. "I don't know…seventy feet?"_

"_B!" she cried, "Come on!"_

"_Fine, let's go outside and see what fifty feet looks like."_

_So anyway, fifty was actually too big. We sized it down to about forty and then Terra began to carve. She did half of it with her gift, and I helped her do it in the traditional way with a hammer and stuff. All of this had to be done in the quarry, where we first met, so the others wouldn't see it. Carving with our hands took longer than I expected, and it was exhausting. But two weeks later, we came up with a fantastically carved face._

_Then, finally, the big day came. Terra and I woke just before sunrise. She hoisted the big face from the quarry, carrying us in the process, too. When we got back to the Tower, she already had a headache. But she looked excited, and that made me excited, too._

_Just as we began to see a faint pinkness in the sky, Terra hoisted the big face all the way up to the window._

"_I AM OZ! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL!!" I roared, chuckling. For some reason, the giant head reminded me of that movie._

"_Who?" Terra asked, looking at me as if I had gone crazy. _

_I stared at her for a minute. "Remind me later: movie night."_

_It was about fifteen minutes later, and we weren't picking up any screams from the baby monitors that I held in my hand. The other one was upstairs in the Main Room, where our victims would gather._

"_Come on, Robin…don't you usually get up at two in the morning?" I grumbled._

_Ten more minutes passed and Terra lowered the face to the ground. Sweat dripped from her forehead. _

"_Beast Boy," she sighed, whipping her long hair back into a ponytail, "Can we stop for a little bit? I can't keep this up all day."_

"…_That's what she said," I smirked._

_She narrowed her eyes. "I know, I know…"_

_I chuckled. "You know it was funny."_

"_Whatever."_

_The baby monitor began to pick up voices. The others were up and eating breakfast. Terra heard, too, and she quickly rose the face back up to the window._

_As soon as she did, all we could hear was screams of terror. Terra fell to her knees, hands still glowing and in the air, laughing. I was laughing, too. _

_She lowered the face, and we pounded knuckles._

"_Killer, Beast Boy. Killer," she laughed._

So there you go. My most impressive RECENT (and favorite) prank so far. They get better each time, and each has a story behind it.

Facially Yours (haha…couldn't help it),  
BB

--

Beast Boy clicked SEND, and chuckled to himself.

"More questions?" Terra asked, leaning her chin on his shoulder. She clicked her teeth a few times.

"I told them about the Oz face prank," he replied, reaching up and playing with her hair.

"Ahahaha. That was a fun one. That was the first one I was a part of."

"Such a prestigious honor," he joked.

"I know, right?"

"The public amuses me," Beast Boy said. "That's all I gotta say."


	4. The One With Two Questions

**Beast Boy's Inbox  
By AlohaFox (Chloe Fox)**

This story is dedicated to Tianimalz [just because].

Chapter 3 – The One With Two Questions

_Hey Beast Boy,  
If you were to have any superpower you wanted, and you could NOT choose changing into animals, what would you choose? Why? And if you feel like answering more than one question... Who is your favorite titan? I suppose you can choose an honorary titan if you want, but you can't choose yourself. :3  
Thanks! :D You're awesome.  
Fan..ish..ly yours,  
Azka D._

---

Azka D. –

Hmm…I don't think I'd change my powers if I had the chance. I love aminals too much! (oh, screw you, spell-check!) But I've imagined myself, yknow…flying like Superman or something like that. Which didn't go over very well with Raven.

"_WEE!" _

"_Beast Boy, this is awkward beyond words."_

"_FASTER, RAVEN, FASTER! …OOH THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! …Raven? …RAVEN DON'T DROP – AHHHH!"_

But I digress. Now, onto Question Numba Two. Well, I can't choose a favorite. I go in phases, you see. I have all-time faves, like Cy and Terra (obviously). But, since I'm such an outgoing guy, you know, I like to add some variety. I hang with nearly everyone equally. Several times, it was hard to choose between them all, if they wanted to do something with me.

"_Okay, homies. Since everyone seems to love me so much, I actually need to be organized with my social life."_

"_My life has changed so drastically since those words came out of your mouth, Beast Boy," Raven muttered._

"_Shut up. Anyway. Here's a schedule of the next month. It'll change, you know, as time goes on. Feel free to flip-flop. This'll hang in the entryway."_

"_We should all do this," Robin said. At least he didn't tell me to put it away, you know._

"_Copycats!"_

I still have that schedule beside everyone else's. Except mine's the first one you see when you walk in…because it was my idea in the first place, of course.

Organizing-ly yours,  
BB

---

After sending, Beast Boy walked out of his room, and went to the entryway where the schedules hung. He paused, and looked at his. He stared, his mind fathoming just what was there.

"…CYBORGGGG!"

"Yo?"

"I am NOT letting you redeem yourself on that game all month!"

"Come on!"

"NO!"


End file.
